Category Archives: Random Hilarity

All the makeup sales I’m not hitting :-P

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So, there are a TON of great sales right now, so many that I could not even begin to tell you about all of them.  Here are some of the sales I haven’t hit:

Bobbi Brown 20% off

Tarte 30% off (No! You have Tarte blushes! Close that browser, imbecile!)

Sephora VIB sale 15% off

Ulta 20% coupon

Macy’s 40% off coupon (Now this one was hard.)

…and a new one hits my inbox every few minutes!

Now…why didn’t I hit any of these sales?  Because I DON’T NEED ANYTHING.  I really don’t, y’all.  I got 2 palettes for Christmas and replaced most of my daily staples in the late winter.  I don’t need anything and I’m doing better about not shopping just because something’s on sale.  HOWEVA.  There may be something you need or are ready to make the splurge on.  The best place to read about the sales is <a href=”http://nouveaucheap.blogspot.com/?m=1″>Nouveau Cheap</a>, so head on over there if you feel like reading about all these spring sales! I love that blog!

 

Lipstick Destash It and Trash It!

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Y’all, it feels good to get organized.  After consolidating my blushes, I realized I had so much CRAP I need to get rid of.  And let’s face it…as much as we hate it, makeup expires.  At least, the emollient stuff does on a consistent basis! Every one of these lipsticks had gone bad except the Rimmel one, which is the worst shade ever on me.  (OMG 1980s frost, guys.  I can’t even force myself to give it to anyone else.)  The balm lipsticks had SPF that probably stopped working around a year ago.  Sad face…  And OMFG…let’s not get into how many years ago L’Oreal stopped making Endless lipsticks.  I’m just gonna stop right here.

Bye bye, musty crayon smelling lipsticks of yesteryear.  You served me well.  

  
Get out!  I got too much shiz! 

😀 

Get up, dress up, and show up 

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So, I have been sick all week!  However, the NC primary was Tuesday.  I felt like I had to do my duty and vote no matter what, so I spritzed some Alterna dry shampoo and put on some slap!  Here’s my “I have to go adult” face:

  
But hey, Urban Decay Naked 2 eyeshadows, amirite?  

We’ll be back at the blogging momentarily! 

Bad Makeup Habits – Do you have any?

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So, I have some bad makeup habits I’m trying to break!  In 2015, it was bad brows.  I watched a bunch of tutorials and I stepped it up big time.  Thanks, YouTube!  

Next year, I have a few “resolutions” I’d like to try to remember.  

1.  STOP BLOWING ON MY BRUSHES.  OMG, you guys, I even got yelled at on a makeup counter for doing this.  I still catch myself doing it.  GROSS!  Bacteriaaaaaaaaaaa.  

2.  Placing contour and blush too damn low on my face.  Oh man, this is so bad.  It ages you and drags the face down.  Dear self, do the trick with the brush handle from top of ear to edge of mouth…then do not deviate below that!

3.  Getting eyeshadow too far out/down on the outside corners of the eyes, dragging the whole eye down.  There’s a reason some people use tape.  I mean, talk about another thing that ages you…shadowing your crow’s feet?  Let’s work on that.  

4.  Going too matte on the whole face.  Again, this is an aging thing.  We are no longer a greasy 17 year old and it’s not 1983.  Calm down with the powder explosions. 

5.  Nudes every day.  OH GOD SO BORING.  You are not boring!  Change it up.  Why do you have all that zany MAC and UD?

6.  Either get your bangs trimmed more often or grow them out, but the barrettes thing is getting stupid. 

So, do you have anything you’d like to change about your beauty game?  

Pet Post!

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This is my cat, Jethro.  He’s 2 years old this month!  He’s a Humane Society rescue and he pretty much came home and decided he was going to try to be king of the universe.

  
Straight chillin!

This, however, is the actual Queen of the Universe.  This is Bella – she’s 14 years old, half Jethro’s size, and regularly puts him in his place. 

  
(If it not made for sits, why is it made of warm?)

Do you have any pets? 

And now, your moment of fail

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I recently ordered some stuff from NYX from their Memorial Day sale.  Some sweet warehouse person saw that I ordered a black eyeshadow and threw in a freebie pencil brush – how nice!  As I was snipping off the plastic wrapper, the brush slid down in the package…


Well, it’s the thought that counts.  Sigh.

Have you ever had an un-boxing disaster?  This is not my worst one, by far.  I once stabbed a pair of scissors right through the fabric of a corset.  Luckily, it was a cheap one (giggle)!  Yes, yes, I know…each time I swear I will pay better attention!

The 10 Commandments of Contouring – Glossible says what I’ve been thinking all along 

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It’s hilarious because it’s ALL TRUE!  I was a professional makeup artist for nearly 15 years.  Ladies, I worked for MAC.  They love dramatic looks!  I’m also a bit of a goth.  If **I** think a makeup look is too much, it’s too much!  Read on about the 10 commandments of getting a naturally beautiful contour and highlight, and get a few laughs along the way! It’s all in good fun, folks.  Thanks for making us laugh, Glossible! 

http://www.glossible.com/perspective/10-commandments-highlighting-contouring