My Hair: FAQ



HAIR FAQ

Is it real?

Yes, it’s real. I mean, most of it. Some of it is fake.

Wow, who does your hair?

I do it myself. Yes, color and cut. And the extensions too. No, I’m not a hairstylist. To be fair, my best friend gave me this sweet mohawk recently. No, he’s not a hairstylist either.

Can I touch it?

You probably don’t want to. But no, you can’t. Don’t be weird.

What’s that… Stuff?

Oh, I collect little bits of random things. I keep it in a box labeled “hair stuff”. Right now, you’re looking at Christmas tree lightbulbs, keys, a broken necklace chain, synthetic dreads, leather cord, and beads.

Does it hurt?

Only if I lay on it the wrong way. It’s much more likely to hurt someone else. That’s a really weird question, BTW.

How do you wash it?

I don’t.

What products do you use?

Yes.

No, really. What products do you use?

Okay, here is an abbreviated list of things that are or have been in my hair: Cheap hairspray, Elmers glue, playa dust, sunscreen, lotion, beeswax, salt…

How do you get your eyebrows to match?

They’re natural. I get it from my dad’s side of the family. 😂  Same place I get my awesome sense of humor.

Don’t be a smart ass.

I shave them off and paint them on freehand with a thin paintbrush. Currently I use a long-wear liquid lipstick that matches my hair. If it’s black I use liquid eyeliner. If it is purple I use either purple liquid eyeliner or a matching eyeliner pencil set with matching eyeshadow.

What does your hair look like usually?

Exactly how it looks right now, but probably pinned or pulled back instead of fluffy and everywhere.

Does it take a long time?

Sometimes. Usually I just wake up with my hair looking all weird and hairspray it so it’ll stay weird. When I have it up like in the picture, it takes at least half an hour, but I can really just mess with it forever if I want to.

…okay.

I’m glad we had this little chat.

DIY Hair? Sure, bring a friend!

It’s relatively well known that I tend to have hair that is crazy, fun, weird, brightly colored, fake, or whatever else. What a lot of people don’t know is that I do my own hair. Dye, cuts, extensions, shaving, all of it. Don’t get me wrong, I love it when I can get to a stylist and let them go nuts with it, but I’ll be honest: I’m lazy.  

 My hair is a hot mess here. Pay attention, I’m about to talk about the gentleman on the right.
Well, I have been getting tired of my one-length, growing out, shapeless hair mass. So I enlisted the help of my BFF Kurt, (pictured above laking a very serious face for some reason ¯\(°_o)/¯)  and said “shave some of it off.”

…actually, hold up. Let me tell you about Kurt for a second because his hair is way better than mine.

 These are but a few of the incarnations of Kurt.

Kurt is a mythical creature with great hair and weird jokes. When I was 19 and had just discovered Information Society, my main goal in life became “Have hair as cool as Kurt’s.” Fast forward a bunch of years, anyway, and as a weird and wonderful twist of fate he’s my BFF and I trust him to use his completely nonexistent hairstyling training to make my hair look weird as hell. 

   
 

I had him shave off the sides and leave d everything long, well, long. It worked. Now I have a mane of long hair and the lame hair on the sides that was all kinds of different lengths is gone. 

 (Unplugged headphones were because I had not yet plugged them in, not as some sort of choad fashion accessory)



Thanks Kurt! ❤️

Do you cut your own hair? Would you let a non-hairstylist friend do it for you?