Is it real?
Yes, it’s real. I mean, most of it. Some of it is fake.
Wow, who does your hair?
I do it myself. Yes, color and cut. And the extensions too. No, I’m not a hairstylist. To be fair, my best friend gave me this sweet mohawk recently. No, he’s not a hairstylist either.
Can I touch it?
You probably don’t want to. But no, you can’t. Don’t be weird.
What’s that… Stuff?
Oh, I collect little bits of random things. I keep it in a box labeled “hair stuff”. Right now, you’re looking at Christmas tree lightbulbs, keys, a broken necklace chain, synthetic dreads, leather cord, and beads.
Does it hurt?
Only if I lay on it the wrong way. It’s much more likely to hurt someone else. That’s a really weird question, BTW.
How do you wash it?
What products do you use?
No, really. What products do you use?
Okay, here is an abbreviated list of things that are or have been in my hair: Cheap hairspray, Elmers glue, playa dust, sunscreen, lotion, beeswax, salt…
How do you get your eyebrows to match?
They’re natural. I get it from my dad’s side of the family. 😂 Same place I get my awesome sense of humor.
Don’t be a smart ass.
I shave them off and paint them on freehand with a thin paintbrush. Currently I use a long-wear liquid lipstick that matches my hair. If it’s black I use liquid eyeliner. If it is purple I use either purple liquid eyeliner or a matching eyeliner pencil set with matching eyeshadow.
What does your hair look like usually?
Exactly how it looks right now, but probably pinned or pulled back instead of fluffy and everywhere.
Does it take a long time?
Sometimes. Usually I just wake up with my hair looking all weird and hairspray it so it’ll stay weird. When I have it up like in the picture, it takes at least half an hour, but I can really just mess with it forever if I want to.
I’m glad we had this little chat.